lemon curry?

I am. I am. I am.: Oh, yay.... now blatant ableism has invaded my Facebook page

goldenheartedrose:

iamthethunder:

goldenheartedrose:

TW: Major ableism ahead. MAJOR!

Fan Q: Should a mentally and/or physically disabled person be able to marry? I don’t mean a bi-polar person, I’m talking down syndrome, autism, wheelchairs, etc. “Severe” disability/disorder. Should they be able to marry although they may not have the mental…

I am glad someone took on the autism thing, but people with Down Syndrome and other intellectual disabilities should be able to marry, too.  I am so sorry this invaded your Facebook page.

I agree.  I was upset that no one took on other intellectual disabilities.  I guess the general consensus tending to be “but they’ll be taken advantage of because they won’t understand”, etc.  So frustrating.  I argued and then people kept telling me to shut up, really, because I apparently had missed the point.  Well, hello, people, when something affects how I’m perceived because of a disability I have, um, yes, I’m going to get angry about it.  Then, of course, they used the “but you’re so high functioning”, which is just ludicrous, of course. I gave them a short run down of how I have an unbalanced functioning level.  Meaning that I can be a parent and do things for my kids while still having trouble making phone calls and putting the laundry away some days, and how every day is different.

Ugh.  Anyhow, at least Facebook has stopped giving me notifications about the conversation, so I’m done.  I’ve said what I need to say and I’m done.

The thing that bothers me about the whole “People with Down Syndrome shouldn’t marry” is that the arguments are exactly the same as “People with autism shouldn’t marry”.

Some of my spouse’s close friends—some of our mutual friends, even, including an ex of mine—have asked Blink if they feel guilty being married to me. They haven’t used the R-word, but the sentiment is always “Why would you marry a retarded person? Aren’t you taking advantage of them? Isn’t it impossible for them to have a mature relationship, consent to sex, or interact with normal people?”

And every Auti$m $peaks video about parents of autistics (i.e. all of them) have at least one parent bemoaning and wailing their child’s inevitable single status, throwing in “My child will never marry” along with “My child will never play baseball” and “My child will never go to prom”. As though getting married is required of most children, and their child is a disappointment if they choose not to. (Hello, sexual and romantic privilege!) As though marriage is automatically impossible for autistics, or autistics will never, ever desire marriage, and autistics will never, ever find anyone who could possible cherish them enough to marry them. As though autistics never turn out queer in societies which will not permit them to marry, rendering the question moot. (Hello, heterosexist privilege!)

The same exact assumptions and arguments, like I said, made against “permitting” people with Down Syndrome to marry.

Which reveals two important things about ableist privilege.

One, an ableist argument against one neurodivergent/physically divergent group is an ableist argument against all of us.

Two, ableism is so often tangled up in several other types of privilege. Fighting ableism isn’t just fighting for neurodivergent and physically divergent folks. It is fighting (in this case) romantic privilege, sexual privilege, and heterosexist privilege.

Abandon autistics on this score, and social justice advocates are also abandoning aromantics, asexuals, trans* folks, queer folks, and irregulars.